Jimmy (fumbles with keys and opens apartment door): That’s weird, I don’t remember leaving all the lights off.
(lights all turn on at once)
Crowd: Happy birthday Jimmy!!!
Jimmy: Wow! Guys this is awesome--what a surprise!
Donna (walks over to Jimmy): Happy birthday friend!
Bill: Yeah, happy birthday big guy.
Jimmy: Wow, so were you guys behind this? So great! And you even got sweet tea vodka, my favorite!
Bill (to Donna): See, told you he would notice the booze first.
Donna (to Bill): Bill, shhhh!
Jimmy: What’s going on guys?
Donna: Jimmy, we’ve all come here to help you with your problem.
Jimmy: Problem? What problem?
Bill: You’re a drunk Jimmy. This is an intervention.
Jimmy: What?! This is outrageous!
Donna: Calm down Jimmy. We’re all friends here.
Jimmy: I don’t even know half these people!
Donna: Well, we got the chocolate cake you like for your birthday. You know how popular that is.
Bill (as he eats cake): Quite scrumptious, if I do say so myself.
Jimmy: This is something else! I can’t believe you’re doing this on my birthday!! And are these birthday hats really necessary?
Bill: Don’t be a party pooper Jimmy. The hats make everyone feel festive. Plus, you have not even opened your present yet--hint hint, it might just include 8 counseling sessions down at Mill Valley!
Jimmy: This is the worst birthday ever.
Donna: Oh, come on now--it’s not that bad--we surprised you didn’t we? Now let’s all have a drink to honor the birthday boy. . .oh, not you Jimmy. . .you can’t have any.
Jimmy: And people wonder why I drink so much.
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