Wife: Hey honey, where do you want to go for dinner tonight?
Husband: I dunno. Let’s google it.
He types “restaurant” into Google. 45 minutes later. . .
Husband: Awesome, it says it routed us into the processing queue! We should get search results back within 4-5 hours!
Wife: Wow, that’s so much faster than last time!
***
Mike: Hey Bill, do you know the capital of Mongolia?
Bill: No, but I bet Google does. I’ll just do a little search and. . .oh wait, actually I can’t because Google closes at 4:30.
Mike: But it’s only 4:31.
Bill: Yeah, they’re really strict on that closing time. Yesterday they closed at 4:15.
***
Google Employee (looking at clipboard): Ok now I’m going to need you to execute a search for “dolphins” in Images mode.
Teen Student: Piece of cake.
The student clicks on Video mode by accident and quickly clicks back to Images mode.
Google Employee: Oh, I’m sorry--I’m going to have to dock you a point for that meaning unfortunately you have failed the Google Search Test.
Teen Student (distraught): Noo! Please, it was just an accidental click! I know how to get to Images mode! Here, I’ll do it again! See!
Google Employee: Sorry, a mistake like that on a real computer could have cost you precious seconds. We can’t have that. You can re-take the exam in a month. In the meantime, feel free to use Bing for your Search needs.
Teen Student (crosses arms and pouts): Well I’m glad you’re in a joking mood on the worst day of my life.
