Magician: Ok kids, who wants to see a great trick? I’m now going to make a quarter disappear behind Stacey’s ear! Everyone watch closely!
(The Magician performs the trick)
Crowd of Kids: Ooooohh! Ahhhhhh!
Magician: Thanks kids!
Tommy: (to crowd) Really guys? Really? (to magician) That trick was lame. You just kept the quarter in your hand the whole time. Anyone could do that.
Magician (slightly flustered): Well, I don’t really think anyone could do it, but anyway kids now I’ve got a trick you’re really going to love! Check out this rabbit in my top hat. But now. . .when I wave my magic wand. . .
Tommy: Um. . .let me guess. . .the rabbit disappears?
Magician: That was a rhetorical question young Tommy! Anyway, when I wave my magic wand. . .the rabbit does disappear!
(Magician shows off his empty top hat. Some kids clap but other kids are now skeptical)
Tommy: Boo! Obviously the the rabbit is still inside the hat.You’re not a magician--you’re a fraud! And is it really healthy to keep a rabbit locked inside a hat?
Susie (saddened): The rabbit is locked inside the hat???
Magician (getting more flustered): Of course not Susie! (The rabbit peaks its head out and the magician quickly stuffs it back in) Tommy. . .I’m losing a little bit of patience here. . .
Tommy: Yeah well PETA is losing a little bit of respect for magicians like you so I guess we’re even.
Magician (now angry): Ok Tommy, you want to do things this way? Why don’t you step right on stage for my next trick?
Tommy (sarcastically): Oh no. . .what’s the big bad magician going to do to me?
Magician (now smirking): Kids, for my next trick. . .I will make Tommy’s self-respect disappear!
Tommy: Ha ha. . .wait my what?
Magician: Hey Tommy, why can’t you find the toilet at night?
Tommy: Huh?
Magician: I don’t know, but you sure do wet the bed a lot!
Tommy (slightly flustered): I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Magician: Oh sure Tommy. . .just like you don’t know where your mommy goes every
weekend?
Tommy: Ok, this is getting a little weird now.
Magician: Ha ha. . .we’re just getting started Tommy. . .for my next and final trick, I will make Tommy’s parents’ marriage disappear!
Tommy (nervously): Fine, fine you win. . .you really are a great magician. Just leave my parents alone!
Magician (devilishly): No can do Tommy! The papers are already drawn up!
(The rabbit suddenly jumps out of the magician’s hat and scampers away)
Tommy (sarcastically): Well if you are as bad at making marriages disappear as anything else, I guess I don’t have THAT much to worry about.
(The Magician performs the trick)
Crowd of Kids: Ooooohh! Ahhhhhh!
Magician: Thanks kids!
Tommy: (to crowd) Really guys? Really? (to magician) That trick was lame. You just kept the quarter in your hand the whole time. Anyone could do that.
Magician (slightly flustered): Well, I don’t really think anyone could do it, but anyway kids now I’ve got a trick you’re really going to love! Check out this rabbit in my top hat. But now. . .when I wave my magic wand. . .
Tommy: Um. . .let me guess. . .the rabbit disappears?
Magician: That was a rhetorical question young Tommy! Anyway, when I wave my magic wand. . .the rabbit does disappear!
(Magician shows off his empty top hat. Some kids clap but other kids are now skeptical)
Tommy: Boo! Obviously the the rabbit is still inside the hat.You’re not a magician--you’re a fraud! And is it really healthy to keep a rabbit locked inside a hat?
Susie (saddened): The rabbit is locked inside the hat???
Magician (getting more flustered): Of course not Susie! (The rabbit peaks its head out and the magician quickly stuffs it back in) Tommy. . .I’m losing a little bit of patience here. . .
Tommy: Yeah well PETA is losing a little bit of respect for magicians like you so I guess we’re even.
Magician (now angry): Ok Tommy, you want to do things this way? Why don’t you step right on stage for my next trick?
Tommy (sarcastically): Oh no. . .what’s the big bad magician going to do to me?
Magician (now smirking): Kids, for my next trick. . .I will make Tommy’s self-respect disappear!
Tommy: Ha ha. . .wait my what?
Magician: Hey Tommy, why can’t you find the toilet at night?
Tommy: Huh?
Magician: I don’t know, but you sure do wet the bed a lot!
Tommy (slightly flustered): I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Magician: Oh sure Tommy. . .just like you don’t know where your mommy goes every
weekend?
Tommy: Ok, this is getting a little weird now.
Magician: Ha ha. . .we’re just getting started Tommy. . .for my next and final trick, I will make Tommy’s parents’ marriage disappear!
Tommy (nervously): Fine, fine you win. . .you really are a great magician. Just leave my parents alone!
Magician (devilishly): No can do Tommy! The papers are already drawn up!
(The rabbit suddenly jumps out of the magician’s hat and scampers away)
Tommy (sarcastically): Well if you are as bad at making marriages disappear as anything else, I guess I don’t have THAT much to worry about.
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