Navigator (knocks loudly on the Captain’s door): Captain! Are you here?!
(Captain groggily moves toward door and opens it)
Captain: (yawns and slurs his speech): Is it time for the deck party already?
Navigator: No Captain, but I think you should see this right away!
Captain: I don’t have to read anything do I? Because I JUST got done doing a guest appearance at the mixology contest.
Navigator: No, Captain, but I think you should take a look at this map. It appears the ship’s computer might be way off with our coordinates. See, this is us here, and here’s where we should be.
Captain: Whoah. . .we’re in that tiny little ship? But it seems so big from up here!
Navigator: Captain, this is very serious. If we’re off by as far as this map indicates, we could be in a very dangerous position.
(pause)
Captain: That’s what she said!
Navigator: Captain! I really think you should put some pants on and come up to the galley with me.
Captain (acts as though he is checking a watch): Listen, as much NOT fun as you are, I’ve got some official ship business to take care of in my room.
(The Captain starts to shut his door. The Navigator stops him)
Navigator: Captain, I’ll be frank. I think the ship may be headed straight for an iceberg, and we need to act right now to avert a crisis.
Captain: Damn. . .you’re right about the ice. . .this is a tragedy. . .
Navigator: Yes, now that’s the Captain I like to see!
Captain: How did I FORGET to enter that ice sculpting contest! Now I’m going to have to wait until the next cruise!
(He slams the door)
Navigator: Well. . .at least the ship might be doing some carving soon. . .
(Captain groggily moves toward door and opens it)
Captain: (yawns and slurs his speech): Is it time for the deck party already?
Navigator: No Captain, but I think you should see this right away!
Captain: I don’t have to read anything do I? Because I JUST got done doing a guest appearance at the mixology contest.
Navigator: No, Captain, but I think you should take a look at this map. It appears the ship’s computer might be way off with our coordinates. See, this is us here, and here’s where we should be.
Captain: Whoah. . .we’re in that tiny little ship? But it seems so big from up here!
Navigator: Captain, this is very serious. If we’re off by as far as this map indicates, we could be in a very dangerous position.
(pause)
Captain: That’s what she said!
Navigator: Captain! I really think you should put some pants on and come up to the galley with me.
Captain (acts as though he is checking a watch): Listen, as much NOT fun as you are, I’ve got some official ship business to take care of in my room.
(The Captain starts to shut his door. The Navigator stops him)
Navigator: Captain, I’ll be frank. I think the ship may be headed straight for an iceberg, and we need to act right now to avert a crisis.
Captain: Damn. . .you’re right about the ice. . .this is a tragedy. . .
Navigator: Yes, now that’s the Captain I like to see!
Captain: How did I FORGET to enter that ice sculpting contest! Now I’m going to have to wait until the next cruise!
(He slams the door)
Navigator: Well. . .at least the ship might be doing some carving soon. . .
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