5 Stories I'll Probably Never Write

I've got lots of ideas for stories, but here are 5 I'll likely never write:

1) The Paint on the Wall - It’s the true story of paint drying, from the paint’s point of view.

2) The Job - It’s the magical story of a man who goes to work every day for 40 years. After that, he retires.

3) Grass - It’s the convoluted, mystical tale of grass that grows, just a little bit at a time.

4) We All Fall Down - It’s the story of 5 children whose lives all change one afternoon when they discover Ring Around the Rosie and play it for several hours, before their parents call them in for dinner.

5) The Lost Puppy - It’s the remarkable story of a puppy who becomes lost, and then never finds his way home. That’s the end of the story.