Why it’s best to keep up with tech trends in Silicon Valley

Girl and guy are chatting in a bar.

Girl: Well anyway, I have to run. It was great meeting you though.

Guy: Sure. It was great chatting with you as well!. We should definitely chat again. . .maybe next time we could get a room?

Girl: Um, excuse me?

Guy: You know, like a chat room?

Girl: What? Do those even still exist?

Guy: Oh yeah, we could get a private one and it would just be the two of us chatting. Very exclusive! I could give you a call about it sometime. Can I get your number?

Girl: I guess. . .

Girl pulls out her iPhone and the guy pulls out an early 2000s flip cell phone. The guy starts typing in the girl’s name very slowly.

Guy: Sorry about this. You know how T9 word is.

Girl: I actually really don’t.

Guy makes a few more mistakes and finally gets frustrated.

Guy: Ah screw it. Why don’t I just look you up online.

Girl: On Facebook?

Guy: No Friendster. It’s really cool. . .are you on it?

Girl: Is this for real?

Guy: Hmm guess not then. Well, no matter, I’ll just “ask” Jeeves if he knows anything about you.

Girl: Huh? Ok this has gone too far. I’m pretty sure no one even said that in the 1990’s. Please tell me you’re joking.

Guy: No. . .I really do have my own desktop computer, and I can use the Internet almost any night because my mom hardly ever gets any calls then!

Girl: I’m out of here.

The girl runs off.

Guy (shouting after her): Ok, well I’ll send you one of those AOL CD’s then so you can get online too!

Idioms my Way

I’ll try anything once. But I won’t try anything twice. I LOVE diversity.

A penny saved is a penny earned. Unless you stole the penny, in which case--give it back! You didn’t earn that penny!

The early bird gets the worm, but then that early bird gets eaten by the early cat, which gets in a fight with the early dog, so maybe it isn’t such a good idea to be early after all.

If a picture is worth a 1000 words, why do parents get so mad when their kids look at porn instead of writing their English papers?

A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step. However, a journey of a single step also begins with a single step. So don’t think just because you took that first step you’ve accomplished anything yet, pal. 

Cheap whores are a dime a dozen. Literally.


Whenever I get stuck between a rock and a hard place, I think "Man, I should have just become a geologist."


Curiosity killed the cat, while the dog still sits there slobbering happily. I guess ignorance really is bliss.